New Squeeze

After talking so much about my ex-boyfriend, you might have guess that the current one wasn't that good.

Jem finally realised something is amiss when he came to P to enjoy with his friends and maybe to look for me on Saturday. He SMS me in the afternoon asking why i haven't been SMSing him for long, about 2 days, told him that he seemed busy so didn't want to disturb him (of course this is not the real reason).

I walked up and down is table many times, try not to look at him or talk to him. He tried to talk to me whenever i moved to his table, i chatted for a short while and i moved away. He asked whether i was riding home and i told him yes because i would rather go home myself as i do not know how to face him at this point. He told me that he was not driving that night, so i was rather relief as most probably he will not wait for me since i riding back.

He left quite late with his friends about 3am, he walked over to where i am to ask again why haven't i SMS him these days, am i busy? Told him he also didn't SMS me, so he replied that he seldom SMS people and i said likewise for me, i seldom SMS people as well. He laughed it off by saying oh so it's the same. I hinted by saying bye to his friend who is waiting for him and he left.

He SMS me shortly to tell me to SMS him when i'm home. He droped me another SMS to apologize for not knowing how to love due to the things he been through and he's afraid, trying to pick up the broken pieces. He must has found that something is not right about the way i treat him and stuff like that.

Before i could reply him when i'm home, he called me, he asked whether i read his SMS, told him i'm just about to SMS him and he called. He told me to sleep early and we put down the phone. i SMS him my intended SMS anyway to reply what he had said. Told him that i do not feel that i am in a relationship or been loved, i'm also recovering from a failed relationship. But it doesn't help if i am the only one that keep trying. And his reply was: "Sorry, i really do not know what to do. I know this is not a good answer but... Sorry."

Nothing happened after that, no calls or SMS.

You must be wondering what has happened???

We came together only last Friday night (yes, supposed to be a honeymoon period isn't it?), and story goes:

Saturday:

He did not called or SMS me the whole day even though he was off that day, but he told me briefly that he was bringing his dog to Sentosa and that's it. No other information. I was waiting for him to call (isn't the man suppose to make the first move to break the ice or something as girls are usually too shy to do all these). Anyway, i couldn't wait so i called him before i reached my workplace about 7pm. He missed my call, eventually returned my call after 30mins later. He just told me that he is at Sentosa and now going to bathe the dog, so of course i said you go ahead then.

He SMS me around 11pm to tell me he's very tired, can't accompany me the next day to collect our trip's tickets as he needs to fetch his parents to IKEA to buy furniture, asked whether i could go myself. So been a rather considerate girlfriend, i told him it's ok i can go myself, told him to sleep early.

Sunday:

I went to collect the tickets myself, was expecting a call at least to ask how i am doing. No call at all till after 12 midnight. Thought he might spend the later time of the night with me or something since it's his off day, otherwise weekdays he is usually busy. Finally when he SMS and followed by a call after midnight, i was a little pissed off by the 'bo chap' attitude that i decided not to reply or pick up the call.

Monday:

He SMS me in the afternoon to ask whether i were available that day and Tuesday. Quite a number of SMS going through for the plans at night or tomorrow. Eventually, his class was cancelled that night so i met him earlier to catch a movie. He was there early, however he went to enquire for his course first. I SMS him when i was leaving the office, and when i reached, he is still at the course enquiry centre, so told me to go Paragon to pick up some stuff for him and utilmately meet him back at Cineleisure. I was surprised that he had not gotten the tickets since he was here early and he parked his car in this building anyway. If it was my ex-boyfriend, he might have gotten an earful from me, but... this is the honeymoon period isn't it?

So we catch a later time slot and went for dinner and arcade game. I find that i do not feel very comfortable with him in public, not sure why. Maybe i am not used to him yet or just uncomfortable. Anyway, after the movie i deicided to ride home myself since he was working early the next morning (considerate right?).

I tried calling him when i reached home, wanting to chat with him till he gets home (which i will usually do when he send me home), and to keep him awake through the drive back home. He did not picked up, called another time after 10 minutes, i think he off his phone. I started to become worried and panicked, I SMS him to asked whether he's home. He replied shortly he was and was discussing with his parents anout the course fees. So i replied telling him that i thought something happened to him and told him to sleep early.

Ok, at this point, i was telling myself, forget it, he wanted to catch his parents before they sleep, so didn't want to answer my call. I mean this is no big deal, i tried to find excuses for him that certain things he done was ok, no big deal, don't get so paranoid.

Tuesday:

He met me after his class and my company dinner. My boss fetched me home, so he waited at my void deck. He was talking about his course till late around 11pm then he told me he wanted to go to seaside to relax however he realise it's late. I knew that he was off the next day, so i do not mind going with him for a while. As my job is not so mind taxing and stressful, so i can afford to be a little tired at work (i did make an effort).

He told me that he needs to pack his room tomorrow, by the fengshui master, so i just nodded and told him i'll be going for badminton session anyway.

Wednesday:

No calls, no SMS the whole day. I was expecting at least a SMS since he is at home. I understand that at work, most of the time he may not be able to pick up call or SMS, hence i try not to SMS or call him during his working hours.

Finally, it's me who called again before i went for the badminton session at 7.30pm. He reply through SMS saying he was watching TV about an hour later. I told him i just want to see what he is doing. He then told me his ringing tone is quite soft so try to SMS instead.

What is this? I called him and instead of returning my call, he SMS me. I purposely placed my ringing tone to the loudest so i can hear while i'm playing.

Anyway, i concluded i had enough. Why am i the one always to tried calling him or SMS him, while he's not even bothered. He can't be bothered to meet me during his off days, not even a call or SMS. What is wrong with him?? I guess he knew most probably he will be getting off on Wednesday, that's why he wanted to meet me on Tueday. He did not tell me his schedule, that's fine since it might change, but he didn't even bother or make an effort to call or SMS. During his off days, he prefers to do his own stuffs, he did not even bothered to tell me what he did. He would just call or SMS the day he wants to meet me and i will try to make myself available? He didn't even bother to call back when i called. He would instead SMS. I decided to stop making an effort, no point i'm the only one trying as you need 2 hands to clap!

Thursday:

He SMS me in the afternoon, asking how was my day and at the same time, asked me to check with my friends or colleagues whether anyone is interested to take over his spa package that he signed up for recently.

I'm pissed. He usually SMS with an agenda. I just replied saying i will ask around.

And that's it for the day.

Friday:

No calls and SMS and nothing from me as well...

I've talked about Saturday in the beginning, so that's the whole story. Not sure whether i am being too sensitive or am i comparing, but most likely not. It's heaven and earth, that's no way of comparison but i just find that i had enough. I do not feel the love in this relationship. I know it's the starting, but there's no effort!! And it's just the first week. Where's the supposely honeymoon period?

I think i need to cool off to think about what i want and give him time to think about what he wants as well. I do not want to waste each other's time as i am not young anymore. But i think i have come to a decision...........