Man Again

I have finally decided on my choice. However, I am dead worried that I might make the wrong move. When I told Rxxx (Frenchman) that I am not able to be with him (but I did not tell him the real reason, told him that I went back to my ex-boyfriend. As I do not want to complicate matters…) He continues to be really sweet, saying that as long as he can give me happiness is all he asked for, and what a great person I am and the only regret he has, was not been able to make me stay. I can feel my heart crack a little, but because I did not spend enough time with him yet or do not know him well enough, I do not feel really sad that I wanted to stay on with him.

My best friend encourages me to choose Rxxxx (Singaporean) as she feels that I will lead a better with him rather than Rxxx. I myself feel that Rxxxx will be able to spend more time with me and think my family will be more willing to accept Rxxxx than Rxxx. As I mentioned before that there’s something lacking in both of them that will not let me fall really deeply with them, however, I believe time can help in these. I do not have a really strong feeling for them both, just that I feel Singaporean might be a more acceptable choice for my family and maybe myself as well.

Before I break the news to him last Friday, He did tell me he has mailed a card to me, and I received it today. There’s a card with a dvd. The dvd is a video clip of both of our pictures in Hong Kong and Singapore (like we went to Hong Kong together) and with the ‘I think I’ (Full House’s theme song – one of my favorite) playing in the background. And the card wrote very sweet things on why he falls for me, how much he loves me and how great I am. I’m seriously touched but I do not wish to change anything for now. As much as I want to, but I want minimal changes and just hope for the best. Hopefully I did not make the wrong choice.

I do not have much of an expectation these days, as long as I am comfortable with the person, he makes me smile and knows that I can rely on him, guess that’s all that I’m asking for.